How I Spent My Semester from Hell - Pt 1

About a week ago, one of my hardy little band of readers inquired about the long drought of entries. The explanation, as one might suppose, was the COVID-19 emergency.

My doctor actually had me tested for the virus last Friday, and the result came back negative. This was the result I expected, because at no point had I experienced the tell tale symptoms of fever, dry cough, and shortness of breath.

But I sure as hell had been experiencing *something*-- indeed, a seemingly endless stream of different *somethings* -- which finally prompted my physician to investigate the off chance that the coronavirus was using me as a human guinea pig to try out several inventive new ways by which to afflict a human being.

And yet my semester, which for me commenced on Wednesday, January 8, had begun auspiciously. I was teaching two mid-level undergraduate courses, each of which quickly developed that welcome rapport with students that makes coming to class a pleasure for one and all.

Then things began to suck. Bigly.

On Tuesday, March 3, I emailed my department chair: “My daughter had a fever last week and I had to cancel class in order to care for her. I’ve come down with something myself and just now sent word to my students and TA that I will need to cancel class today. I thought I would let you know so that you would not get any misimpressions via the rumor mill.” (The misimpressions being that probably I was canceling class because I was clinically depressed.)

Within minutes a sympathetic response landed in my in-box.

The following day I sent him an update: “I’m still sick and have had to cancel class again. This is very frustrating. I will compensate for the missing lectures by placing materials online. Just wanted to keep you informed.”

Another sympathetic response, with additional information that a lot of faculty were in the same boat.

A few minutes later it occurred to me that I was sick enough that I would likely have to cancel class yet again and therefore: “Looking ahead, given that next week is Spring Break, I think it may be best to proactively cancel my two remaining classes for the week and re-group. I dislike not having direct interaction with my students, but I can use Carmen to offset the loss of class time.”

Sounds good, the chair replied.

As it turned out, I had to use Carmen for a hell of a lot more than to offset the loss of class time. Because on Monday, March 9, the first three cases of COVID-19 in Ohio were confirmed and late that evening the university announced that face-to-face classes would be suspended, at least until March 30, and when classes resumed next Monday, after the conclusion of Spring Break, they would resume in online format.

My initial thought was: "Cool! Now it won’t be a problem if I get sick and under the new arrangement I will likely have more time to focus on my research." My follow-up thought: "Could I have recently smoked hashish and gotten so high as to block all memory of having done so?" Thinking back upon it now, it was more likely to have been crack cocaine, because my initial thought had obviously been crack-smoking stupid.

Having come to my senses, the next morning I created “The Corona Virus Courses Journal, Spring Semester 2020.”

And at 10:30 a.m. composed the maiden entry:

“Late last evening OSU president Michael Drake suspended face-to-face classes until at least March 30, due to the new Coronavirus (COVID-19). The disease started in Wuhan, China, and has been headed our way ever since. A major strategy for combatting it has been to limit its spread through imposition of outright quarantines in some instances and the cancellation of events that generate large crowds; e.g., Spring Semester classes. Most of us are in danger of nothing worse from the virus than a case of flu. But it can be fatal for the elderly and those with underlying conditions, and if the virus is permitted to spread too rapidly it will overwhelm the medical resources available to save those who get really sick.

“We are currently on Spring Break, which gives me a week to re-organize History 3551 and 3560 to effectively make them online courses. I thought I’d start a journal as a way to organize my thoughts on this, and to keep track of my progress.

“This development is actually helpful for me personally, because between Chloe’s illnesses and my own, I have already had to cancel an appalling number of lectures. This is a good way to get things back on track. But it is also a good opportunity to learn how to create and conduct a course in an online format.”

Ha! Little did I know….